"You're protesting so much that you must be guilty" (female)
"The fact that you are trying too hard to defend yourself proves you are guilty" (male)
And below both comments there were agreeing comments and likes. This is "facebook logic" at work. Using that same logic, if you were in court charged with something, would your best defence be to be silent? In a democracy, we have the right to proclaim our innocence. But not on facebook. Defending yourself proves you are guilty. Figure that out.
There are testimonials on my models page and my actors page. There are faces and names associated with all of them. Some have been there since 2012. All of the girls know their comments are there! They have had plenty of time to protest loudly and make me take them down if they were not true. Yet on facebook they count for nothing, and unsubstantiated rumours are passed along as facts.
I have wondered about why stories about me got there in the first place. I have shot about 30 models and actresses in the past 4 years. Some have come back 5 times, others two or three times. Some others wanted to come back but I was not keen on them. I have thought carefully about them all, and wondered what some of them might think of me. They ALL were friendly and happy upon departure.
But I know everyone doesn't like me. (Everyone doesn't like you either!) Trying to please everyone and be liked by everyone is a sure way to being unhappy. We lose our own self when we try to please everyone.
The worst things I have done in the past 4 years
Here are my experiences with some models I have dealt with. They left happy, but their later emails showed they were disappointed.
One girl did two bikini shoots with me. She liked A Wannabe Girl Story, and wanted to try acting. She had been in a play in middle school, and nothing else, and had no training. I decided to give her a chance. I coached her as best I could, and we shot the scene. Her acting was not good. Very amateurish. (She thought she had done well when we finished btw.) Now, I grant that there is a chance I had told her she would get a copy but I honestly don't remember. Then I saw her footage in my computer. I could not bring myself to spend 10 hours editing, watching her amateurish acting over and over. I broke the news to her in an email. Was she disappointed? Would she say something negative about me? Hmm, maybe. But I treated her with respect, coached her as best I could, and she got the experience of being on camera. I paid her too.
I had one girl come for a shoot in sporty outfits. She wanted to act. I gave her numerous opportunities to speak at her shoot, but she was at a loss for words and her speaking bits were awkward. I said she could do some bikini modelling and she was glad about that. I offered her $150 I think it was for about 1.5 hours. She agreed by email, and then in other emails said it was not enough because she had a two hour drive each way. She felt I should pay her more because of the driving, and I said no. She was disappointed too. Was I a bad guy? I don't think so. It was not my fault she was so far. Would she say something bad about me? I don't know, what do you think?
I corresponded a lot with a beautiful model who said she was ambitious and really wanted to go places. We chatted, by email, about her maybe being a new Pamela Anderson. I said I would give her extra time, because I would like to find a new Pamela Anderson. She was excited about that. She came for two shoots. Unfortunately, I did not like her voice. She had what I felt was an unattractive voice. Also, even with two shoots and numerous speaking opportunites, she had little to say. She left happy both times after her shoots. In emails later I felt she was disappointed. I treated her with respect the same way I treat everyone who works with me with respect. Would she share her disappointment with someone else? I don't know, but I could see that it could happen.
Another model sent me headshots and body shots, and arrived for her shoot. She had pimples all over her back and shoulders which looked horrible on camera. She could probably sense that I was disappointed. I shot her anyway, and paid her. She wanted to come again and I did not get back to her. Would she say something negative about me not getting back to her? Could be.
With the above 4, if they shared their disappointments, and their comments got recycled through facebook, what would the "new" comments sound like? With the mentioned incredible dumbness with some facebook people, you can see how in a while all kinds of stories could morph out of their comments.
I made a feature length movie called Bikini Babes Countdown. In pre production I
exchanged emails with a model, who said she did not want to be in the movie because
it sounded like porn to her. So maybe she told a friend "I think it's porn." After being
retold a few times it could easily become "He makes porn." And from stories I have heard,
some or many porn producers are sleezy and treat the women they hire poorly. So it seems
I got branded with them, because it "sounded" like porn to someone.
But in my heart, I know I did my best. I have never tried to touch a female model or actress inappropriately, nor made any suggestive comments. Or watched them change!! (They changed in my bathroom with the door closed and presumably locked! I did not try to open it!)
If I was indeed a creep like some facebook people think, at least one out of the 30 or so girls would have pressed charges or berated me publically in some way. The berating I have received has all been from people who say they have heard it from "someone" or "lots of people" with the "someone" or "lots of people" never being named.
I can look at myself in the mirror with a clear conscience. I am not perfect, but I am kind and respectful.
Oh, one other last reason why some may make up derogatory stories about me. Jealousy. I have lots of talent. I sold my very first short to TV. Real TV, not internet TV. Do you know of anyone else who sold their first short film?
I state on my site that I have talent. For myself, and anyone else with talent, it is important to embrace your talent and acknowledge it. Otherwise it will lay dormant, and not bloom. I have had facebook people say that they don't like that I mention my talent on my site. Is that a reason to spread rumours about me?
You do not have to be a filmmaker to have abusive lies told about you. It can happen to you, no matter what you do. If you have read this far, you are indeed special. Most facebook people it seems do not have enough of an attention span to read this far.
If you do get lies told about you on facebook, and you try logic and reason with the perpetrators you are not likely to get anywhere. You will have more success trying to teach a puppy how to make phone calls or drive a car.
Thanks for reading this. I hope it doesn't happen to you.
(I may or may not add some ignorant comments by Victoria Vice. But really, I am very tired of this. I want to move on.)
NOTE: The facebook attack happened
from around December 22, 2014 to January
15th, 2015. I did not know it was happening till
January 15th. I wrote the above around
January 18th. Today, April 26, 2016,
not one single person has come forward to
substantiate any of the unfounded rumours.
Delia got a lawyer. Twice. They backed off when
they realized Delia was in the wrong, not me.
I have over 900 facebook likes on
my actors page and this page.
If anyone spreads lies or rumours about
me in the future they may find it